planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
