I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
