We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
