so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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