she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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