He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
