Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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