All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
