i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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