Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
