Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
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