whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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