separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
