her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
