Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
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Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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