i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
