He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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