I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize