i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
