Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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