Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Drake has all the answers
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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