Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
