When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
