I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
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Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
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When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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