In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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