Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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