we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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