I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
