Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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