How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You need Xanax blowdarts
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize