The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
