Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
