Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
