why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
