so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
