I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
