Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
