and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
