just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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