My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
