Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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