I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
