I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
