im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
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Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
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I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
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