Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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