every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
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I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
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I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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