i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
