All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
