You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
