Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
