you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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