i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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