I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
