yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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