batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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