It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
