You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
