they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
