It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
